Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Everyone Has An Opinion

I just found out that I am pregnant with my second child. Being the kind of person I am, pretty much the whole world knows about my pregnancy. I never could keep a secret.

This pregnancy is planned. This pregnancy is wanted. This pregnancy is also a bit controversial.

Because I am a disabled mom. Because I already have days where it is challenging to take care of my son. Because people have opinions on everything, and they seem to think it is their business how I and my family choose to conduct our lives.

So let me put some things to rest.

If you want to congratulate me, offer me warm thoughts and wishes for a safe and healthy pregnancy and birth? Please do so. If you want to provide me helpful and supportive comments on caring for a toddler while pregnant, or for introducing a newborn to a toddler? Please do so.

If you want to question my judgment, if you want to question my abilities, if you want to try and take away my joy and excitement? You can take a long walk off a short pier. You can shut the hell up. You can show yourself the door. Because I do not want to hear it.

My husband and I did not make this decision lightly. The fact is that we have been discussing the possibility of expanding our family for a year. We have had so many discussions and went over the pros and cons enough times to make your head spin. Because we wanted to be sure. Because we wanted to be honest. Because we wanted to make the right decision for our family.

Because that's what this is. It is about our family. And anyone who tries to make it about them is the worst kind of arrogant self-important jerk. I don't care if you'd have done things differently. You can do whatever you want with your own life. But this life is mine. And I will do with it all I can.

I am a mom to an amazing 2-year-old boy. I am pregnant with my second child. I am married to a wonderfully supportive and caring man. I am a disabled woman. IN THAT ORDER. I am a mom and a wife FIRST. I give everything I have to being a good wife and mother.

So if you want to question my decision to have a second child? Take a look at yourself. What kind of person questions the right of another to have a child? I am not asking for your help or your approval. I am not asking for permission from society.

I am telling you, point blank, that I am having a second child. And I will be a damn good mom to two kids. Because I am a damn good mom. And a good friend, a good wife, a good person.

My physical disabilities have a huge impact on my every day life. I have to do many things differently.  But one thing that my disabilities have no impact on is how I care for my child. The activities we do may be different, but my son is my world. He is always well taken care of and he is a very happy, loving, sweet and intelligent little boy. Everyone who meets him loves him. My disabilities have no bearing on that.

So. Let's recap.

I'm proud and excited to be expecting my second child. And if anyone has anything negative about it, they can screw themselves.


  1. My opinion is MAZEL FREAKING TOV!

    I actually teared up when I saw your announcement. I am so so so so so so happy for you.

    You are one hell of a mother to Julian, and I know that your Thing #2 will be just as amazing as he is due in no small part to you.

    1. Thank you. Many, many people are supportive. But you know how the vocal minority can be...

      I was even told I was a terrible person for having Julian. So, you know. Whatever.

  2. "I am a mom to an amazing 2-year-old boy."

    This is incorrect. This should ACTUALLY read:

    "I'm a WONDERFUL mom to an amazing 2-year old boy."