Changes

My 2 year old is in the middle of potty-training right now. I should note that this was really more his idea than mine. I have been pretty unsure of how to go about this potty thing, and early attempts failed miserably. Most of what I have seen/heard/read about has been stuff like "sit your child on the potty every 20 minutes!" and that sort of really involved stuff.

I am not in to "really involved." I don't have the physical or mental stamina to get in to constant battles of will with my son. Which isn't to say that I let him run around like a wild creature and do whatever he pleases in an undisciplined fashion. No, its really more that I pick and choose my battles wisely and trying to make him sit on a potty every 20 minutes was not an undertaking I was willing to commit to. 

Instead, he started telling me when he was "soaked" and wanted "new dopper" (new diaper, for those who don't speak toddler.) And then he started asking to use the potty. No, seriously. He'd ask me to take his diaper off and let him use the potty. We had bought his potty about 6 months ago, when he initially started showing signs that he might be ready. So he knew what it was and had become accustomed to its presence. 

Once THAT happened, I was like "well, it's now or never..." and one morning I just took his diaper off and said "Ok, when you need to pee, you go in the potty. We don't pee on the floor." My son answered "No pee floor. Pee potty." And then... uh, went and peed in his potty. 

I have been living the past week and a half in shock. He's had accidents, yes. He's peed a bit on the floor a handfull of times. But mostly? He's potty trained now, when we're in the house. I haven't exactly braved taking him in public yet.

This has been awesome. Mostly because I don't have to lift him on to the changing table 12 times a day. Nah, only 3 times a day now. (He still wears a diaper for his nap, so once to put it on and once to take it off. And then he wears a diaper to bed.) This is huge. Though I am dumping his potty out a million times a day, but at least that's less effort.

This whole experience just makes me wonder how different this went for me and if my disabilities are playing a role. My son has been following directions and simple requests for a long time now. He is frequently asked to do things for me (can you pick that up? Can you move that? Can you take this to your table?) And he's really awesome about doing the things he's asked to do. 

So he has taken a big role in his pottying adventures. He lifts his liner out once he's peed and brings it to me. Which is not always that awesome, as he has spilled a few times. But I do appreciate that he is trying to help. He puts it back once I have emptied and cleaned it. He alerts me if he has had an accident, and will show it to me. "momma, I pee floor. clean up." He'll even try to help clean up if I'm not careful. 

Part of me wonders if he's taking on too much responsibility and whether or not I am inadvertently damaging him.

But then he spends so much time in my lap, cuddling me and hugging me, saying "awww momma! mine momma!" that I figure... well, he's happy and for now, for this moment, he absolutely adores me. I must not be screwing him up too bad. 

I don't think his toddlerhood so far has been all that different. He runs and plays and talks and learns... he changes day by day. And I do my best to keep up. Even when I am very sick from my pregnancy and even when I have no idea what I'm doing.

I'm just trying to keep up. And I think I'm doing ok, so far.

My House is a Mess. And I Don't Care.

I haven't posted in awhile. Being pregnant is a special kind of difficult. I knew this when we decided to have a second child. My first pregnancy was rather difficult, and that time I didn't have another child to worry about. I was able to sleep 18 hours a day the first time around. But this time my son actually expects me to be the same momma I've always been. It's a lot of extra pressure.

On top of that, my MS hasn't let up the same way it did the first time. When I was pregnant with my son I almost felt like my MS entirely went away. Aside from pregnancy ickiness, I felt better than I had in years. This time? Yeah, not so much. I am in just as much pain and have just as many issues as I did before.

Basically, all of this means that I am doing even less around the house than I used to. Look. My house is always messy. There is always clutter and toys strewn about the floor. And, really? I don't care.

I have a limited amount of energy. If I overdo it, I am left unable to move. This is my reality.

So I decide what I want to do. Do I want to clean up my house? Or would I rather make sure I have enough energy to get on the floor and play with my son? Do I want to put away toys? Or do I want to take my son to the park?

It's really an easy decision for me. I'd rather spend the energy I have being Momma. I really don't think that a perfectly put together house is as important as my child(ren) knowing I will always play with them or take them on small adventures.

I know I have limits and I know that my child(ren) will have different experiences because of my disabilities. But I do my best to limit how impacted they are.

Frankly, anyone who wants to judge my house can suck it. It's not dirty, it's not dangerous. It's messy and cluttered. But there's a really happy little boy who lives here, who asks his momma to come play blocks. And she goes to play blocks. The dishes can wait. Picking up toys can wait. Because he's only going to be 2 once. And I want to savor these days where he actually wants to play with me.